Category Archives: tiling

it’s may folks

and i hear may is a great month to have a baby. tho i have no idea when the passenger plans to arrive, i’m pretty confident it will be sometime in this great month of may. i do try and explain to the baby that with wrapping up things at work, finishing up house projects, visitors making plans, and dad’s paternity leave, it would really be for the best if he/she decided to to make an appearance sometime the weekend of the “due date” give or take a day or two. i’ll try not to be be too picky tho – the passenger has been such an easy “passenger” so far that i suppose he/she can come whenever they feel like it.

speaking of, i think part of me is going to be sad when the pregnancy part is over. i feel pretty lucky to be able to say, i’ve actually really enjoyed being pregnant. 

here are some of the things i think i’ll miss:

*the self esteem boost! people are just so sweet with the, “you look great! what a great little belly bump! you’re so adorable!” and i’ve come quite good at soaking up the compliments. i think in the future if i’m having a bad hair day or something, i’ll just get pregnant…

**the reaction children have to the fact that i’m pregnant – specifically on how i do not know if it’s a boy or a girl. i work with a lot of kiddos at my job and they are downright hysterical about the whole thing. each week, like clockwork and despite the fact that i’m pretty sure my belly has increased in size since i saw them last, i get the “have you had your baby yet!?” no, no i have not. thanks for asking tho! and then each week they say “is it a boy or a girl?” and i explain, for the upteenth time that i really, honesty, madly, truly, deeply (just like last week!) do not know. which, for the life of them (all of them!) they CANNOT UNDERSTAND. kids are constantly telling me, “they can do xrays that will tell you, you just need to ask the doctor!” or, “does that mean it is both a boy and a girl?” “how come you don’t know!??!” and then my absolute favorite kiddo response was the little girl who when i asked what she thought i was having (boy or girl?) she thought for a second, her eyes got real big and she confidently said, “A PUPPY!”  definitely going to miss my daily dose of  laughter in this form.

***i am going to miss using pregnancy as my get out of jail free card. quite frankly, i don’t think i have taken enough advantage of this and am currently making a mental note (which i will later forget – see below) to do so. tho unfortunately it really doesn’t carry much weight in this house. since i basically ignore all pregnancy “rules” anyways, when i go to make up my own, “i read somewhere it’s really not good for pregnant women to pick up dog poop – something about the germs in the feces…sorry babe!” i get the, “good thing you don’t pay attention to those rules!” sometimes it works tho and i love it.  “can you get me my water and take off my shoes and i think i need another cookie and my computer charger. i’d do it myself but i can’t because i’m pregnant.”

****my fun game every morning of, “what the H. E. double hockey sticks am i going to wear today!?!?” i have really prided myself in buying little to no maternity clothes (remember when i told you how i hated them and thought they were ugly and planned on not buying them??). outside of a two pairs of maternity jeans, some maternity stretch pants and maternity dress, i have creatively managed to make my current wardrobe manage. this of course means things like a button popping off my dress during church on easter sunday and giving those sitting next to me a nice peep-show. but like i said, i see the whole thing as a game and i’m dominating the game sans empire waisted garments.

*****and of course i’ll miss my almost daily intake of an extra thick oreo malt. that’s my official craving this pregnancy i decided. and i have had no shame in giving into said craving. plus – as long people keep telling me how cute i look, i’m going to keep eating inhaling them.

******lastly, i’ll miss having the passenger all to myself. it dawned on me that once the baby is out, i have to share. i’m not sure how i feel about this quite yet. possibly pretty good when he/she is screaming for no reason at three in the morning.

of course there are things i will not miss about pregnancy…

*like the dumb people (roughly 1 out of every 100)that do not say nice things about my belly but say things like, “how many do you have in there!?!?!?” and, “are you sure that’s when you’re due!?!?” yes idiot – that is when i’m due and i am sure. it’s taken all the self-control i have not to exercise my right as a therapist to put them on a 72hr psych hold. because clearly they are psychotoic.* 

**and i’m not going to miss pregnancy brain which i decided was a real thing. it started when i found our deli cheese in the pantry and came to fruition when i realized i was accidentally posting pictures of the baby bump while standing in my underwear on the interwebs. (sorry instagram users! i didn’t know people could follow me until after the damage had been done! i blame the idiocracy entirely on the baby). i also had the thought the other day (when poor mr. hutch was trying to figure out what the heck to do with TONS and TONS of extra dirt we had as a result of redoing our front yard) why don’t we just dig a hole and burry it?? goodbye IQ…

***and i’m not sure i’ll miss the crazy dreams. i cannot believe i am admitting this but last night i had a dream i was breastfeeding oscar…it frightened even me.

****oh and the peeing! the constant sensation of having to pee! i will not miss you. please come back chriptonite bladder that could previously go for impressively long amounts of time before needing to be relieved. please.

so now that i’ve embraced pregnancy (most of it anyways), i’m really going to devote these last couple of weeks to understanding the concept that pregnancy results in a baby. my belly is nice and round, we have a house full of baby stuff, we have written out our birth preferences and met with our doula. i own things like nipple cream and at some point we’ll install the carseat and get around to buying diapers. and yet, i cannot believe that all of this adds up to a teeny, tiny, little human being becoming ours. eek!

stay inside a little longer little passenger – i still haven’t  figured out what the heck you are supposed to do with a baby.

oh and just in case you thought bungalowhutch has turned into a baby blog – we  mr. hutch is STILL slaving away on this house of ours. he must love me A LOT because he’s been working well past dark every night trying to finish this or that. in fact, it’s after ten and he and the tilemaster (who is making an appearance this week) are downstairs tiling the bathroom as we speak. thanks father of my child! and thanks grandfather of my child! (or should i say geezer as you’re hoping to be called).

yipppeee!!! only 1093834 more things to do!

geezer laying the tile while i’m busy being pregnant.

*DO NOT TELL OR IMPLY TO PREGNANT PEOPLE THAT THEY LOOK HUGE! under any circumstance. ever. period.

we worked on the house

you guys, we did like a real project around here. it reminded me so much of the good old days. nothing like the recent scrapings at the bottom of the home renovation barrel.

we found out the tilemaster was planning on being in denver over a 24hr work-free period and immediately began soliciting help for our kitchen backsplash. remember when i talked about that way back when? nine months later we got around to it.

at this rate, the house will be done when we’re dead.

anyways, like most projects around here, the whole thing was totally haphazard and turned out great. i realize we really do make the best reno decisions under pressure and when we have little to no time to plan or ponder things. instead of scouring for the perfect tile, the perfect colors, the perfect deal, we showed up to flo’ & deco’ friday night, found some tile,  got to work saturday morning, and finished the last of the grouting by sunday evening. no shopping around and taking our time around here folks. planning is for losers. do or die .

overall the process went smoothly. there were only two marital fights. one regarding mr. hutch wanting to watch sports in the morning rather than tile and one about how the accent tile should be laid out. i would have won both feuds but since my dad was here and he always takes mr. hutch’s side, i was ganged up on and lost the accent tile battle. mr. hutch thinks the color of the accent tile is poo and didn’t want it at all so in some ways perhaps i still won.

but who’s keeping score!? (me.) nothing like a little competition to keep the fire burnin’.

small marital feuds aside, the three of us worked like a well oiled machine and got ‘er done. and now we have a beautiful kitchen backsplash.

what do YOU think?

tile wars

before i get into the tile wars – i have some breaking news: the most interesting man in the world is not in fact the creepy dos equis guy. it’s my dad. that guy may have dolphins appear every time he goes for a swim but check this out. my dad drove a thousand miles with a car full of tools only to arrive at bungalow hutch, work his behind off for three days straight tiling the place, and upon finishing get back in his car to drive the thousand miles home!

who does that? i’m intrigued. he must love us a lot or something.

ok so the tile wars officially commenced upon our arrival back to denver. we arrived after our trip home late wednesday night to check out bungalowhutch with our master tiler in tow (that’s my dad btw. we’ll call him JT – he tiled over 2200sqft of his house. not saying, just saying.) and plan our work for the next couple of days.

JT “where’s the tile?”

mr. hutch & me – “oh um yea, we haven’t gotten that yet.”

JT sighs.

so we came up with a plan. i would head to the store first thing thursday morning while JT & mr. hutch got the floors ready (which is actually a lot of stinking work. if you care to know we they had to put a million and one screws into the old original floor boards and then try to even out those old rickety things with this other stuff that i forget what it’s called and this other stuff called liquid nails which i personally think should just be called glue. this is a bad DIY informative blog. fail. if anyone ever does care to know the actual process. email us. i can give real details with the help of mr. hutch.)

so back to me at the store. upon entering i tried to remember the instructions the master had given me. something about getting tile that would be less likely to crack (since our house is old, uneven floors make a great breeding ground for cracked tile – who knew!? not us…) he also told me to ask the sales people for recommendations. so i did. i asked this shaggy hair’d pimply kid about tile that wouldn’t crack with our situation. his prepubescent response: all tile cracks.

sweet. the “sales guy” just gave me free reign to get any tile i wanted despite the master tiler’s instructions!

so i walked around and picked out beautiful tile. then JT & mr. hutch showed up.

“no, no, no, no, no.”

that was the sound of the first shots being fired. a war had begun.

the tile for the kitchen was too big. the tile for bathroom was too expensive. my idea of putting tile that looked like wood in the shower was too ridiculous. ugh.

i fought for that tile aggressively at first by arguing my side (which had no merit ’cause i have no idea what i’m talking about when it comes to tile) so then i took the passive approach by walking around the store sulking and “mugging” them with my looks.

when that didn’t work, i got on my hands and knees and threw a huge temper-tantrum in the middle of the store.

in the end. my war tactics didn’t change the fact that 16×16 tiles in the kitchen would still crack on an uneven floor, tile that looked like wood in the shower still seemed ridiculous, and spending a couple of grand on the bathroom floor was still out of the budget.

i lost that war. which is secretly a good thing, because i’m super excited about what we ended up with.

we had a few other tile wars.  including an epic battle involving my favorite brother in law. it was JT & i v. mr. hutch & adam (the broinlaw). JT and i had the kitchen, mr. hutch & adam assigned to the bathroom. the battle was to see who could get the tiling done first. we totally won by implementing my other favorite war tactic: cheating.

a little taunting of the other team while JT yells get to work

adam was unphased and hard at work

despite my best attempt to look threatening with the thin set

JT & i made up the rules as we went, took the better tools, butted in line for the tile saw, stole their thin set, and made them go on a beer run. ahhhh, the smell of sweet victory!

well on our way to victory

victory indeed! JT finishing up the last bit of grout in the kitchen on day 3


meanwhile mr. hutch's partner has left him for a clean pair of clothes and some starbucks

luckily the saster contributed with placing this one piece of tile in

at the end of three very long days of nothing but tiling. bungalowhutch is tiled! and looks beautiful if i may say so myself. JT called the whole process a knowledge transfer. (imparting the master tiler’s wisdom on to us wee little baby home renovaters). and i would say the transfer was a complete success. mr. hutch & i would definitely be confident taking on any tiling project in the future. (which is good ’cause down the road we’ll have to tile our kitchen backsplash. can’t wait!)

just in case you thought i never did any actual work, fear not. i'm quite good with a tile saw.

very happy with the finished product. we went with a white subway tile with a cool little accent border thingy.

closeup of the border. i had to cut each one of those circles out with the tile saw! that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

our sweet reto looking floor (pre-grout) that did not end up costing us thousands of dollars.

okily dokily. back to my dad job since enough of you don’t read my blog. boo hoo hoo.

the master and his apprentice upon completion of bungalowhutch's tiling.