and i hear may is a great month to have a baby. tho i have no idea when the passenger plans to arrive, i’m pretty confident it will be sometime in this great month of may. i do try and explain to the baby that with wrapping up things at work, finishing up house projects, visitors making plans, and dad’s paternity leave, it would really be for the best if he/she decided to to make an appearance sometime the weekend of the “due date” give or take a day or two. i’ll try not to be be too picky tho – the passenger has been such an easy “passenger” so far that i suppose he/she can come whenever they feel like it.
speaking of, i think part of me is going to be sad when the pregnancy part is over. i feel pretty lucky to be able to say, i’ve actually really enjoyed being pregnant.
here are some of the things i think i’ll miss:
*the self esteem boost! people are just so sweet with the, “you look great! what a great little belly bump! you’re so adorable!” and i’ve come quite good at soaking up the compliments. i think in the future if i’m having a bad hair day or something, i’ll just get pregnant…
**the reaction children have to the fact that i’m pregnant – specifically on how i do not know if it’s a boy or a girl. i work with a lot of kiddos at my job and they are downright hysterical about the whole thing. each week, like clockwork and despite the fact that i’m pretty sure my belly has increased in size since i saw them last, i get the “have you had your baby yet!?” no, no i have not. thanks for asking tho! and then each week they say “is it a boy or a girl?” and i explain, for the upteenth time that i really, honesty, madly, truly, deeply (just like last week!) do not know. which, for the life of them (all of them!) they CANNOT UNDERSTAND. kids are constantly telling me, “they can do xrays that will tell you, you just need to ask the doctor!” or, “does that mean it is both a boy and a girl?” “how come you don’t know!??!” and then my absolute favorite kiddo response was the little girl who when i asked what she thought i was having (boy or girl?) she thought for a second, her eyes got real big and she confidently said, “A PUPPY!” definitely going to miss my daily dose of laughter in this form.
***i am going to miss using pregnancy as my get out of jail free card. quite frankly, i don’t think i have taken enough advantage of this and am currently making a mental note (which i will later forget – see below) to do so. tho unfortunately it really doesn’t carry much weight in this house. since i basically ignore all pregnancy “rules” anyways, when i go to make up my own, “i read somewhere it’s really not good for pregnant women to pick up dog poop – something about the germs in the feces…sorry babe!” i get the, “good thing you don’t pay attention to those rules!” sometimes it works tho and i love it. “can you get me my water and take off my shoes and i think i need another cookie and my computer charger. i’d do it myself but i can’t because i’m pregnant.”
****my fun game every morning of, “what the H. E. double hockey sticks am i going to wear today!?!?” i have really prided myself in buying little to no maternity clothes (remember when i told you how i hated them and thought they were ugly and planned on not buying them??). outside of a two pairs of maternity jeans, some maternity stretch pants and maternity dress, i have creatively managed to make my current wardrobe manage. this of course means things like a button popping off my dress during church on easter sunday and giving those sitting next to me a nice peep-show. but like i said, i see the whole thing as a game and i’m dominating the game sans empire waisted garments.
*****and of course i’ll miss my almost daily intake of an extra thick oreo malt. that’s my official craving this pregnancy i decided. and i have had no shame in giving into said craving. plus – as long people keep telling me how cute i look, i’m going to keep eating inhaling them.
******lastly, i’ll miss having the passenger all to myself. it dawned on me that once the baby is out, i have to share. i’m not sure how i feel about this quite yet. possibly pretty good when he/she is screaming for no reason at three in the morning.
of course there are things i will not miss about pregnancy…
*like the dumb people (roughly 1 out of every 100)that do not say nice things about my belly but say things like, “how many do you have in there!?!?!?” and, “are you sure that’s when you’re due!?!?” yes idiot – that is when i’m due and i am sure. it’s taken all the self-control i have not to exercise my right as a therapist to put them on a 72hr psych hold. because clearly they are psychotoic.*
**and i’m not going to miss pregnancy brain which i decided was a real thing. it started when i found our deli cheese in the pantry and came to fruition when i realized i was accidentally posting pictures of the baby bump while standing in my underwear on the interwebs. (sorry instagram users! i didn’t know people could follow me until after the damage had been done! i blame the idiocracy entirely on the baby). i also had the thought the other day (when poor mr. hutch was trying to figure out what the heck to do with TONS and TONS of extra dirt we had as a result of redoing our front yard) why don’t we just dig a hole and burry it?? goodbye IQ…
***and i’m not sure i’ll miss the crazy dreams. i cannot believe i am admitting this but last night i had a dream i was breastfeeding oscar…it frightened even me.
****oh and the peeing! the constant sensation of having to pee! i will not miss you. please come back chriptonite bladder that could previously go for impressively long amounts of time before needing to be relieved. please.
so now that i’ve embraced pregnancy (most of it anyways), i’m really going to devote these last couple of weeks to understanding the concept that pregnancy results in a baby. my belly is nice and round, we have a house full of baby stuff, we have written out our birth preferences and met with our doula. i own things like nipple cream and at some point we’ll install the carseat and get around to buying diapers. and yet, i cannot believe that all of this adds up to a teeny, tiny, little human being becoming ours. eek!
stay inside a little longer little passenger – i still haven’t figured out what the heck you are supposed to do with a baby.
oh and just in case you thought bungalowhutch has turned into a baby blog –
we mr. hutch is STILL slaving away on this house of ours. he must love me A LOT because he’s been working well past dark every night trying to finish this or that. in fact, it’s after ten and he and the tilemaster (who is making an appearance this week) are downstairs tiling the bathroom as we speak. thanks father of my child! and thanks grandfather of my child! (or should i say geezer as you’re hoping to be called).
yipppeee!!! only 1093834 more things to do!